Humanity
by ShadowMeowth
Summary: "Men dream, aspire, and through undomitable force of will achieve the impossible. Your power is beyond measure." In a world consumed by Chaos, it is time to Hope to choose between his humanity or the humanity. Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII
1. Hope

_**A/N:**__ Hi there, people! Long time no see around here. I know, most of my followers are still waiting for an update on _**Partners**_, but since all the overload of _**LR: FFXIII**_ news and that story turning into an AU of the story, I'm trying to get things right to set it up as a proper AU. That's hard because I'm a sucker for stories-as-closer-to-canon-as-possible, so... Well. I'm not gonna abandon_ **Partners**_, don't you worry. It's just, I need time to prepare the story -again- properly._

_Anyway. In the meantime, I'm bringing you this thing: what I intended to write as a One-Shot turned out as a monstrosity of fifty pages and as such people asked me to post it in parts. So, that's what I'm gonna do. The parts will be of different length based on the different parts of this 'One-Shot', but since I've got it already written in Spanish and all that's left is translating it, you'll have it complete soon. So check it regularly in order to catch it up!_

_In this story, I'm focusing once more in Hope and his time before he was teleported to the Ark and reverted to his teen-form. Since **Square-Enix** said, both Lightning and Hope lost their emotions after being chosen by Bhunivelze, I wanted to write something about his change and stuff. And then I came with this ungodly long thing._

_So! That's all for now. Let's get started!_

* * *

**_Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII_**

* * *

**Humanity**

* * *

**I. Hope**

_"People always say, 'the future will be better'. (...) And so we hope, waiting for a future brighter than today."_

* * *

The Wildlands were probably the most dangerous place in the fragile world of Nova Chrysalia. A lush land both in vegetation and Chaos, and the dreadful monsters that came along the latter. All of this amidst a strange mixture of trees, grass, icy mountains and the ruins of what once was a great city.

However, it wasn't a completely desolate place. Small settlements spread across the green lands formed the human population in the area. They were men and women hardened by the Wildlands' extreme conditions. Not necessarily because of the harsh weather, but by the constant threat of being dinner for the monsters lurking in the wilderness, specially at night.

One of those villages was called Canopus Farms, famous for the excellent Gysahl Greens people harvested there, which fed them to the chocobos. It wasn't a very popular business among the people of the grand cities of Luxerion and Yusnaan, but among the inhabitants of the Wildlands, riding chocobos and taking care of them was a priority. Nobody in his right mind would dare to walk through this land on foot if he valued his life at least a bit.

No one, except for a tall figure wrapped in a black hooded cloak in that rainy night under the dark storm clouds, which arrived to the gates of the farm, devoid of people in the outside because of that furious storm.

He didn't seem affected by the pouring rain, neither by the strong wind that made flutter the edges of his cloak. He didn't mind that none of the villagers, properly sheltered at their homes made from ruins and debris, went out to greet him, and he continued his way after taking a moment to find his destination: one of the larger houses, built from the remains of an airship that crashed there long time ago.

The young hooded man couldn't help but give a bitter half-smile. He knew when and how exactly that airship ended up there. He was on it when it fell from the sky.

When he reached the little wooden porch in front of the house, he raised a gloved hand and knocked softly on the door. It was past midnight, in the middle of a storm and a completely unexpected visit; the last thing he wanted was to scare the person who lived there.

He didn't have to wait for too long before the door slowly, cautiously opened, revealing a middle-aged black man wearing a military green trench-coat; he had a short beard around his mouth and chin and an afro that looked like a bird's nest.

Although the young man hid perfectly his face with the hood, the older man recognized him just a second after nailing his eyes on him.

"Oh, boy", he said after a moment in which his mouth opened wide because of his disbelief. "What on Pulse were you thinking? How did you happen to think coming here in the middle of such a pouring, and after midnight?"

"I'm glad to see you too, Sazh", the young man smiled a bit mockingly. "Don't worry. I've come safely, right?"

"And by foot, of course", Sazh Katzroy noted reprovingly. "I've spent years telling you about getting your own chocobo to go from here to there, but you keep to your guns." He took a step backwards to let the young man enter his house. "Come in, now. And stay by the fire or you'll catch the cold of your life."

"As I've told you many times over these years, riding chocobos isn't my thing. It's different getting along with them and staying on one when they start to move", the young man argued crossing the threshold; Sazh closed the door behind him, and the sound of the storm turned into a relaxing rumor. "All the times I fell from them, they still hurt me."

"Because you always went to explore far away and chocobos don't take well going too far from where they usually hang out if they're wild ones. Nothing as terrible as you make it sound, not wanting to even hear about owning one."

"Even if I wanted, you know I couldn't take care well of it", the young man said, his voice slightly muffled because he was struggling with his soaked cloak to take it off. "My research keeps me busy enough to forget about eating more usually than I'd wish."

Sazh frowned.

"Your research has been getting you busy for more than three centuries, Hope. You still think you're gonna get some results?"

The cloak finally came out, revealing the tall, thin young man who wore a tight black coat under which could be seen a white shirt, gray pants and high black boots. The young man absently brushed his slightly wet silver bangs that covered his pale aqua-green eyes before bending over to pick up his cloak and hang it on the back of the nearest chair.

"I don't know if I'll get any results", Hope admitted after a brief silence, "but if don't keep trying, then I'll never know."

"Hmm", Sazh stared at him. "Centuries pass one after another and it looks like the only one who hasn't changed a bit is you, kid. Well, neither you nor Dajh", he added, bitterness staining his voice, his eyes straying to one of the beds in a corner in shadows.

Hope had visited Sazh enough times to know exactly what scene he would witness. A little boy lying on the bed with a peaceful expression in his round face, his eyes closed as if he were sleeping. But both he and Sazh knew he wasn't asleep.

The young man came closer to Dajh's bed, his face extremely serious. Over the centuries, in his occasional visits, Sazh had learned to see a bit beyond Hope's usual calm face whenever a problem was in sight. He knew that behind his cool, he was blaming himself.

However, the man was aware that only one person in the world would be able to fully understand young Hope Estheim.

After all, he learned all those traits from _her_…

"I wish I could do something to help him", Hope murmured, interrupting the course of Sazh's thoughts, "but his plight is beyond my powers."

"Of course it is, son. You're not gonna think you can give back him his lost soul just like that."

"Yeah, I know, but maybe… If I get more results in my research…", Hope shook his head. "Perhaps I could find out where Dajh's soul is… and bring it back."

"Hold your chocobos", Sazh interrupted sternly. "You keep it that way, you'll spend months without even sleep in search of your damn answers. You try to bite off out of your league, kid. You're just human."

In the very moment he said those words, Sazh realized too late he had put his finger on it. Hope knew very well how to control his own emotions, but sometimes his control slipped out of his reach. And that was one of those times in which his face made a scowl of anger, frustration and deep sadness.

"Human", the young scientist repeated, going back again to his serene expression, but those strong emotions still glistening in his eyes. "Yeah, that's all I am. Human."

Sazh knew too well why Hope had reacted that way. Not that he told him about it because Hope had always been rather reluctant to talk about his own problems since he knew him, when he was a fourteen-year-old kid. But Sazh was a mature man with a firm grip on reality, and some things were obvious enough to not need even to ask.

Still, it was kind of ironic. Hope had always defended the human condition as one of the greatest virtues they could wish for. At least, he did until Chaos flooded the world and brought the realm of the dead to the physical world.

Although Hope hadn't changed in many ways, there was a particular thing in which he radically differed from his former self. He always encouraged others not to forget their humanity in a world in which the life cycle of people was broken, praising the will and determination of mankind as a power greater than any magic. But whenever he was reminded of his own humanity, Hope's smile hesitated and pain and sadness surfaced to his eyes.

A cheerful squawk came from Sazh's afro, and seconds later, a small chocobo chick of yellow down fluttered from his hair and landed in front of Hope, chirping as if it wanted to encourage him.

"Hi there, Chocolina", the young man greeted with a weary smile, and stroked the chocobo chick's feathers. She chirped happily and plucked his fingers affectionately.

Sazh sighed.

"What is what you brought you here this time, kid? You never come here without a compelling reason, or rather, you never leave your home without it."

"In truth, I'm on my way", Hope explained while absentmindedly stroking Chocolina. "I'm going to a trip I'm afraid it'll be long, and before leaving I wanted to stop by the farm."

"Another one of your trips?", Sazh face-palmed. "Really, boy, only you would think about walking over Nova Chrysalia on foot in journeys that more than once have lasted for years."

"Actually, they last years because I'm on foot", Hope corrected him, amused. "But I prefer it that way. And they're not 'journeys', Sazh, they're part of my field research. I don't really fancy the idea of being away for so long, as you know."

Sazh frowned. Yes, he did; in fact, he knew that if it depended on Hope, he wouldn't move from the place he decided to call home. But the truth was, he always ended up going from here to there.

"It would've been wiser of you if you waited until dawn. Going out at night and through such a storm is downright suicide."

"I didn't want to further delay my leaving", Hope shrugged. "I've been planning my route for weeks. And, besides… if I don't leave when I'm willing to, I'm unable afterwards."

Sazh chuckled, although deep down he understood Hope. Despite the fact he didn't agree with him about having, in his opinion, such little attachment to his own life in his effort of trying to help others.

His failure as a leader left a wound deeper than the young man was willing to admit.

But he kept for himself that thought. Hope blamed himself enough to give him more loads than he already had.

"I'll get you some blankets", Sazh said getting up from the chair. "If you're gonna leave tomorrow, you'll need to sleep well tonight if you don't wanna end up as a corpse on the road."

Hope smiled gratefully. It wasn't the first time he stayed for one night in Sazh's house; the first one, Sazh had insisted him about sleeping on his bed, but Hope flatly refused. Since then, he had always slept on the comfy couch of his old friend whenever he came to Canopus Farms.

"Thanks, Sazh. I'm sorry to bother you."

"Don't be stupid. Since I cannot be a father to my son, at least I'm glad I can take care of a lad with a knack for getting into all kind of weird troubles time and again", Sazh growled from the other side of the room.

The young scientist couldn't suppress a soft chuckle. Lad? Technically, at twenty-seven years old –physically– he was the oldest of his former group, except for Sazh, of course. But Sazh had always been like a father to all of them. Coming from him, it didn't sound that strange.

However, some time later, in the darkness of night, while trying to sleep listening to the sound of the rain and wind outside laying on the couch, he couldn't help but wondering if his other friends would keep seeing him as a child, despite being the only one who really changed over the years.

His last thought before falling asleep was asking himself if _she_ would still consider him a kid if she woke up one day.

Or, maybe… _she _would see him as just a human.

* * *

_"Hope is such a beautifully painful emotion that can destroy humanity in the cruelest of ways."_


	2. Remorse

_**A/N**__: Two parts one after another! And I'm currently working on the third, stay tuned! This one is really short and if you've read that One-Shot of mine called _**Guider Of Souls**_, perhaps you'll recognize the structure I've followed. I like this way of writing, but it's actually complicated. Anyway._

_There you go!_

* * *

_**Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII**_

* * *

**Humanity**

* * *

**II. Remorse**

_"But sometimes, [our spirit] is nothing but a curse, straying beyond our control, causing us pain and sorrow."_

* * *

_Two sisters were blessed._

That voice again.

_Goddess Etro granted them her power._

Always speaking in each one of his dreams.

_Angels fated to bear the future of this world._

It was an insidious, scathing voice, every sentence deepened the wound in his heart.

_Both failed in their task, and so they got their divine punishment._

Why he had to endure every night such a cruel torment?

_Condemned to eternal sleep until the end of eternity._

He wanted to wake up, to stop hearing the voice and its malicious words.

_The youngest succumbed to the cold and early embrace of death._

To stop reliving those dreaded memories again and again.

_The oldest shall sleep until the end of days as a lifeless crystal statue._

Was this his punishment for having failed his purpose in life?

_No human can ever change their fate._

Or maybe it was because he had been conceited enough to believe he could do something about it?

_No human will ever do anything to free the warrior goddess._

Despite all his efforts, the future of the world had fallen apart.

_Warrior goddess._

After all, he was only human.

_Goddess._

Human.

* * *

_"The eternal doom of humanity is having the potential to reach godhood, and never be able to."_


	3. Aspiration

_**A/N:**__ Right now I'm on fire, huh? I hope I can translate today a big chunk of this story! This part isn't so long. The next one will be, so it'll take me more time. Anyway, here you have another part!_

* * *

_**Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII**_

* * *

**Humanity**

* * *

**III. Aspiration**

_"The weight of history drove him forward."_

* * *

"Wake up, son! Or you're gonna leave the blankets soaked wet!"

Hope opened his eyes all of a sudden when Sazh shook his shoulders, startled and trembling; he was rudely greeted by the bright sunlight that came through the window, and he had to cover his eyes, dazed. Then he noticed his skin was covered in sweat, to the point that his bangs were completely wet and his clothes clung to his slender body.

When he ran a hand down his cheek, he realized that it wasn't just sweat what had dampened his face. There were tears mixed in the moisture that covered it. He quickly dried them before Sazh noticed that detail.

"You were writhing on dreams, paler than you already are and mumbling as if you were chewing crabs", Sazh said staring worriedly. "Nightmares?"

"… Yeah, I guess they were", Hope replied quietly, his heart still racing. He didn't want to talk about it; that dream had been crueler than usual.

"You spend too much time so close to the origin of Chaos. That cannot be good for your health, kid, which, let me point out, isn't exactly foolproof."

That was true. But Hope was so used to all kind of illnesses since he was so young that it seemed he never was. During all those centuries in Nova Chrysalia, he visited Sazh at least three times while being sick, and if it weren't because he mentioned it, Sazh would've never noticed.

"Worse things could happen", Hope replied sitting up with trouble to take the steaming coffee cup Sazh offered him. At that stage, he knew about half of the young man's diet consisted of coffee.

"What are you planning to do?", Sazh asked him after a while as he carefully washed Dajh's face with a sponge while Chocolina fluttered and squeaked around the boy. "You gonna leave as soon as you get ready, or you'll spend more time around here?"

Hope considered his answer for a few seconds as he took a sip of coffee.

"Perhaps I'll stay a bit once I get all the supplies I need. But not too much time… I don't like delaying my plans."

Sazh shook his head, his face showing fifty-fifty of exasperation and concern.

"It seems weird that when I met you, you were nothing more than a shy and quiet kid, and now look at you, son. You won't stop a damn second. It would be good for you if you forget about those trips and settle somewhere already."

A weary sigh escaped from Hope's lips as he gave his last sip of coffee and set the cup on the table before getting up from the couch.

"As things are right now", he said taking his cloak from the back of the chair and putting it over his shoulders, "I just can't stop that second."

Sazh frowned, but he said nothing.

"I'll come to say goodbye before I leave", Hope said after opening the door, and gave a bit forced, but gentle, half-smile. "Later, Sazh."

The man stared at the door once Hope closed it behind him, concerned. Maybe it was because the young man was the only one of his old friends he saw sometimes, but he wished he could help him. He had heard many things about Hope from the villagers of the farms, and more than once he heard them calling him "dream-chaser", chasing the impossible until he made it possible, forgetting about everything and everyone until he succeeded.

Each time he understood better what they meant. He also knew where the former insecure, dependent Hope got that trait. Or rather, _who_ taught him that.

His source of inspiration was the impossible he was trying to achieve as well.

* * *

_"Humanity always aspires to surpass humanity, only to helplessly fail."_


	4. Memory

_**A/N**__: Oh well, I was worried I wouldn't finish the translation of this one today. I wanted to translate this part because it's deeper and longer and stuff than the previous ones, so you can have a better read after the shorter parts. From now on, they'll be longer parts and more things. _

_Ah, yes, since this was intended to be a One-Shot, if you wanna leave a comment, you can do it once I finish posting all the parts, or comment each one of them individually. As you wish, I don't mind at all!_

* * *

_**Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII**_

* * *

**Humanity**

* * *

**IV. Memory**

_"As we gaze upon events that cannot be changed, our hearts grow bitter with regret."_

* * *

Canopus Farms, like most settlements in the Wildlands, was inhabited almost entirely by former members of the Academy, the scientific organization that had once been the beating heart of the civilized world. It had been the golden age of mankind, the time in which people had been truly free without relying on any deity or fal'Cie. Magic and technology were available to everyone. For five centuries, humanity reached glory.

That golden age crumbled down when Chaos coming from the realm of the dead, Valhalla, broke into the physical world at the moment the goddess Etro vanished from existence. The grand capital of Academia turned into the ruined city of the Unseen Realm when Chaos took her. The whole world was sinking year after year, century after century, in the Sea of Chaos; only what had once been Gran Pulse, the great continent over which once was Cocoon, the floating land, was the last stand of humanity.

That was Nova Chrysalia. The remains of a world once prosperous.

The Academy had ceased to exist. People stopped having faith in humanity, and turned to the gods. Or rather, to the Maker. The true god, named Bhunivelze. Creator of the world.

Hope read his name in a few ancient texts during his field research many centuries ago. His story wasn't as well known as the ones of the fal'Cie gods: Pulse, Lindzei and Etro. Interestingly enough, they happened to be Bhunivelze's sons, according to the legends.

His eyes went to the giant spherical structure floating in the sky, surrounded by a halo similar to the one actual planets have.

He still wondered why he decided to name his _magnus opus_, the New Cocoon, after the until now unknown god. It was a stroke of inspiration when he saw it rise over Gran Pulse at dawn, centuries ago.

Exactly three hundred and twenty-nine years ago. He sighed, realizing all of a sudden how much time had passed since Chaos infected the world and the Academy, the only legacy he had left of his father, disappeared.

In fact, Hope said to himself, it wasn't that it disappeared. He tirelessly continued his research, trying to find out what would cause the future apocalypse and the possible solutions. But after giving up his leadership after the catastrophe, the Academy itself as an organization collapsed within days. Now, he was the last one.

The former scientists of Canopus Farms bore no grudge towards the young Estheim for leaving the Academy in the worst of times; indeed, they had always welcomed him with open arms. They were people who, just like him, felt too attached to the city of Academia, or what was left of her, to leave what once was the thriving capital.

Unfortunately, not everyone in Nova Chrysalia thought that way. It wasn't unusual to hear once you were outside the Wildlands about the coward, the traitor, the _heretic_ Hope Estheim, who failed all of humanity and abandoned them at the time they most needed their leader.

Hope knew better than anyone what he did wasn't right. He was burdened with the overwhelming responsibility of ensuring the future of the human race. But, at the moment he took that decision, he had to choose between his duty and his heart.

The image his eyes watched at the top of Etro's Shrine made him choose for the latter after having devoted himself in body and soul to the former.

Did he really deserve the hatred and contempt of the people who once idolized him just because he chose to follow his heart? Wasn't he allowed to act accord his emotions?

Perhaps that's why he liked to visit Canopus Farms, he thought as he strolled casually between the chocobo holding pens and the various shops, buying what he needed for his trip, answering with sincere smiles the greetings of the villagers. He felt comfortable there, not needing to cover his face with the hood and shades among people in fear of reprisals and backslashes.

Once he finished getting supplies, he decided to have a walk around the forest edges in order to enjoy as much as he could the green landscape of his old home. He knew it would be a long time until he saw it again, and for him, that was harsher than it looked to be away from the Wildlands for possibly years.

His eyes fell on the large building, topped by two pinnacles that rose on the horizon over the mountains, almost framed by the New Cocoon hanging from the blue sky. He felt a twinge of pain in his heart by watching it from afar.

After staying there for a while, lost in thought and deep down not wanting to leave the Wildlands once again, he turned to go back to Sazh's house and say him goodbye before starting his travels. And then he found a group of children half-hidden behind the bushes, spying on him great interest.

"I told you!", one of the kids snapped. "It's the Director! I told you he came!"

The other children began to prattle excitedly and came out of hiding with their round faces full of joy, and surrounded Hope just in a matter of seconds.

The young man smiled heartily for the first time in a while. Those were all the children who lived at the farms, only ten kids without counting Dajh, and they had always greeted him that way whenever he visited the settlement. Since their parents were members of the Academy who hadn't repudiated their former leader, the children had heard all sorts of fantastic stories about Hope. For them, the ex Director of the Academy visiting them, even if it was from time to time, was quite an event.

"Director Estheim!", a child was saying at the moment. "I thought you would never come back!"

"Long time since the last time you came, Director!"

"We've missed you a lot!", a little girl whined holding his hand.

"Director Estheim, were you mad at us?", another boy, no more than five years old, asked him with wide eyes.

"You didn't want to see us, Director?"

"No, no, not at all", Hope said warmly smiling at them, feeling guilty for the long time –almost four years– since his last visit. He reached down to be at the level of their faces, his childhood seemed to him so far away. "It's always good to come and see you all. And please, don't call me 'Director'. Just call me Hope, okay?"

The children looked at each other and then looked at him shyly. Due to the veneration they felt for him, each time Hope visited them he had to do that request. He didn't like people to address him as 'Director', a title he felt unworthy of.

"Mr. Hope", a boy said then; Hope sighed in amusement, it was impossible to get the kids treating him without such respect, "our parents always call you 'Director' when they talk about you…"

"Well then, tell your parents they're too formal", he joked gently poking the little boy's forehead with his finger. "And tell them it was I who told you and so they won't scold you."

"But they'll scold you!", one of the tiniest girls said, scared. "We don't want you to be scolded because of us, Mr. Hope!"

Hope laughed helplessly. Such innocence in a world that corrupted by Chaos and darkness renewed his will to heal the wounds of Nova Chrysalia and never give up.

"Don't you worry, I can handle it", he told the girl affectionately ruffling her hair.

"Of course he can", one of the older kids, a nine-year-old, said. "Don't you see he's the cleverest man in the world? He was our parents' boss, period!"

The other children immediately began to whisper visibly excited. Hope gave a shy smile feeling a bit awkward; he didn't believe he deserved such praise, let alone coming from the children his failure as a leader stole their future.

"Mr. Hope, Mr. Hope", another kid said, tugging at the young man's sleeve to get his attention, "is it true that you built the New Cocoon? My parents told me that the other day!"

"Yes, me too!"

"And me!"

"Well", Hope chuckled, silently wondering how much time would have passed since 'the other day'. For those children, 'the other day' could've happened years or even decades ago. "I didn't build it with my own hands; other very smart and skillful people did so… But I was the one who designed it, that's true."

A new wave of excited whispers arose among the children.

"Mr. Hope, what does 'design' mean?"

"To erase the signature of a letter", another boy answered to the question so convinced of it that Hope had to cover his mouth to keep himself from laughing.

"It isn't, you silly!", an older child nudged the younger. "It means drawing a picture of something you're planning to do next! Is it so, Mr. Hope?"

"Yes, it is", Hope nodded, still making efforts to not laugh. The boy puffed his chest proudly and looked at the others as if a king just named him Governor of the Universe.

"See?", he said triumphantly to the other kid. "Besides, to erase the signature of a letter is 'to assign', you fool."

That time Hope was a bit late to hide the laughter that such a remark caused him, and so he let out a strangled sort of gasp before covering again his mouth.

"Are you okay, Mr. Hope?", one of the girls asked in concern.

"It's nothing", Hope shook his head, hiding as much as he could the wide grin on his face that his suppressed laughter had caused. "I'm fine, don't worry."

Anyway, the children were too busy prattling among themselves to notice the plight of the young man. One of them tugged at his sleeve a few times.

"Mr. Hope, will you stay with us this time?"

"No, I'm not, kids. I can't stay", he smiled guiltily at their disappointed faces. "I'm so sorry. I have to go in a long trip."

"Why are you always travelling, Mr. Hope?", one of the girls asked curiously.

"Dad says he explores the world to learn more things about it", a boy said out loud, and all of them looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to confirm it or not.

Hope hesitated. He wasn't sure whether to answer that question sincerely. Those children had no idea of what happened to the world; for them, the Chaos flood was nothing more than an eventuality without any interest at all.

"That's one of the things I do when I travel, yes, but not the only one", he decided to tell them a part of the truth to satisfy their curiosity. "Actually, I'm working to make the future of world in which we live a better one."

"Really?", the children asked in unison, fascinated.

"Mr. Hope, will you do it? Will you get that future for us?", the youngest of the kids asked.

He looked down, unsure. He knew his answer could disappoint the children, because for them he was some kind of hero, but he wouldn't claim for himself the glory that didn't belong to him.

Let alone _her _glory…

"No", he admitted, looking up to Etro's Shrine, which rose over the distant mountains. "I'm just trying to grant the one who has that power can do it."

The children looked surprised. Undoubtedly, they were wondering who could be stronger and smarter than Hope Estheim for such a task.

_"Please"_, Hope pleaded in silence. _"Don't ask, don't ask, don't ask…"_

"Who is it, Mr. Hope?", a boy asked him, and all of them looked at him expectantly, sheer curiosity shining in their large eyes. The young man closed his briefly.

_"Great."_

He sighed, looking at the sky, feeling the children's stares on him. He had never spoken about it to anyone, not directly. It was too hard, too painful. Whenever the subject was brought up, Hope deliberately changed the topic.

But perhaps, with those children, he could reveal part of his secret… Perhaps they could help to ease the burden his heart was carrying.

"I'll tell you a little secret", he said giving them a mysterious half-smile and lowering his voice almost to a whisper; the children swarmed around him, their eyes wide. "Very close to where I live, in the northern mountains, stands a very large building that you can see from here. Have you heard of it?"

"I do!", the oldest kid said. "Mom told me about that place. It's the shrine of Goddess Etro!, isn't it? She said you've been studying something that was inside it!"

Hope smiled.

"Did she tell you the legend of the crystal throne there is at the top?"

"I know that legend!", one of the girls said, who blushed when Hope looked at her. "Well… just a little… I only know it was the throne of the Goddess, and it's always empty… It was already before she died, I mean."

"Well, you're not wrong at all", the young man slightly sharpened his smile, to which the girl blushed a bit more. "You just missed a small detail it's understandable you don't know of. Because, you see… the throne isn't empty anymore."

"Really?!", the children were left open-mouthed. "Did Goddess Etro return to her temple?"

"No, no", Hope shook his head and sighed. "A girl, crystallized on the Goddess' throne. Long ago, she was a warrior serving her, and now she sleeps at the top of the temple."

"A warrior girl?", the girls were fascinated, while the boys looked skeptical and surprised.

"Yeah", the young scientist's green eyes were lost in infinity, full of longing and sadness. "The strongest warrior who ever lived. And… she was a great mentor as well."

"Mentor?", the youngest children asked.

"It's like a teacher", the oldest ones explained. The kids looked amazed at Hope, obviously wondering if he really had a teacher.

"Will she give us that future, Mr. Hope?", one of them asked.

"Of course she will", Hope smiled. "I know her very well. I know she will do it. Perhaps someday you could meet her and ask her to tell you firsthand her adventures."

The children seemed excited. Of course, they considered that meeting their idol's teacher as quite an honor. Specially if she was a legendary warrior.

"But right now she's asleep", Hope went on explaining in a low voice. "What I'm doing when I travel is trying to find out how can I wake up her. Once I do it, she will get us the future I told you before."

Maybe it was Hope's bright eyes when he talked about this mysterious girl, but the children looked particularly intrigued and curious about what the young man was telling them. It made Hope to regain part of his determination to keep going and fulfill his goal. Feeling that he wasn't fighting in vain, in a nutshell.

Those were his thoughts when suddenly one of the younger girls tugged his sleeve to get his attention.

"Mr. Hope", the girl said. "When the warrior girl wakes up, will you marry her?"

The young man needed a moment to process such a question, asked so calmly and from lips so innocent, but when he did, he felt his pale face blushing fiercely within two seconds.

"W-What?", he managed to utter after a silence in which the other children hadn't stopped staring at him curiously; apparently, even the older ones had taken the question seriously. "M-Marry her… Why… why are you asking me that?"

"She's sleeping and she needs your help, Mr. Hope", the girl explained quite naturally. "And you will help her because she needs you. And then you could be happy and marry her. That's what happens in the tales Mom tells me."

"You mean, Mr. Hope wants to help the warrior girl because she's important to him and then that's why he would marry her?", the oldest boy asked, who seemed lost after the reasoning of the little girl. She nodded after a few seconds. "It would be like in the tales, you're right."

"Like the story Mom told me when I was little!", another girl said. "It spoke of a princess who was always asleep at the top of Taejin's Tower, and then the prince came and woke up her with a kiss. It was one of my favorites!"

"Ugh, think about the drool he left that poor princess in her mouth!", a boy said disgustedly. The girl put her hands on her hips.

"You're not being romantic at all! And besides, Mr. Hope certainly would not leave any drool on the warrior girl's mouth!"

At this point, Hope thought it was time to intervene. More than anything because he couldn't keep listening that conversation without ending up with his face literally burning. The worst of all was the serious, casual tone the children were using while discussing such a question. He was totally unable to do so.

"I, uh… That's something… that doesn't depend on a person alone", he said choosing carefully his words. "In the tales your parents tell you, things always end well for everyone. But sometimes, once we grow up… things aren't that simple."

"That's awful", a girl complained. "Who would want to grow up then, if it only means having a harder life? Adults are fools."

Hope chuckled somewhat bitterly under his breath. How right she was.

"It's part of being human", he said though, still blushing but giving them a warm smile. "Life is complicated… but if things were so simple, in the end we all would be really bored. Don't you think so?"

The children looked at each other, whispering the question among themselves.

"So, Mr. Hope", a small boy said, "if the warrior girl wakes up, she wouldn't want to marry you?"

Another explosive question. Clearly children had a knack for asking them, and also for leaving Hope speechless.

A terribly painful silence fell. He understood perfectly what the boy had wanted to ask: if, because things weren't as simple as in the tales, the girl he loved would not fall immediately for her savior.

It wasn't anything he didn't know already, of course. In fact, he had forced himself to not get his hopes up about it if he really managed to awake her from her crystal stasis. But, inevitably, he did. He recalled at once all the times he had fantasized about that reunion unconsciously if it ever happened, and the future for both of them.

Without realizing it, Hope had been making up his own tale.

Fortunately for him, he didn't need to answer that painful question. Before he thought of an answer, he heard a woman calling from the ranch.

"Children!"

"It's my mom!", one of the boys said. "It must be lunch time!"

Hope suppressed a sigh of relief. _"Thank goodness."_

"Excuse us, Mr. Hope", the children said. "Our moms will be angry if we don't have lunch."

"It's okay", the young man forced himself to smile, and poked softly the youngest ones in the nose with his finger. "Come on, go before they get mad because of me."

The children obeyed, somewhat reluctantly, but ran back to the farms in a hurry, towards the woman's voice.

"Have a good trip, Mr. Hope!", they told him saying goodbye with their hands before disappearing through the bushes. He returned the gesture, though it came out much less cheerful than the other times he had said goodbye to them.

He got up slowly from the ground where he had knelt, still blushing and with the children's questions stuck in his mind and heart with the burning, painful intensity of a dagger. How could they have gone so deep into his true goal in so little time? In all the years he worked at the Academy, the same goal fueling him, none of the scientists ever suspected that their leader's tireless work was greatly motivated by Goddess Etro's divine protector.

"They're a lot more clever than we think, huh?", a deep voice said behind him. Hope didn't need to turn around to know it was Sazh's.

"Were you listening?"

"Not by my own accord", Sazh replied while walking towards him. "I went out to buy some Gysahl Greens and I saw you with the kids. Every time you come they spend weeks talking and talking about you."

Hope didn't answer. His gaze was lost in infinity.

"Such a pity this happened to the world…", Sazh went ahead, saddened. "You would've been a really nice father, son. You're quite good with kids."

"I don't think so. I'm always busy, Sazh. I could never give them all the attention and care they deserve and that's not fair."

"Hm", Sazh raised an eyebrow. "You know that better that anyone. Wasn't that what distanced you from your father?"

Hope frowned. True, when he was still a kid, his relationship with his father cooled dramatically because of that reason, even though after his mother's death they tried to recover their lost time together. He realized how true was what people said, "like father, like son".

"Anyway, it doesn't matter anymore", the young man muttered. "In this world no one is born, and no one dies. Who cares about what could have been or not."

"It's cruel, either way. You had the perfect age to settle down, son, but it looks like fate won't let you. It keeps getting in your and soldier girl's way."

Hope's only response was a sharp nod.

"You never considered a third option? Perhaps it would have made things easier for you. And you cannot say you hadn't a lot of candidates."

"'Easier' doesn't necessarily mean 'right' or 'what we really want'", Hope replied bitterly. "If I had, I would've been living a lie. Not just me, but also that 'third option' you mentioned."

"Well, you have a point", Sazh admitted. "But you have to admit, you decided to chase after a really hard one since you were a pup. None other than soldier girl herself… The divine Etro's Champion, no less."

"When I met her she wasn't 'divine'… Not in that sense, at least", Hope admitted blushing. "I only saw her as Etro's knight through the Oracle Drive. I don't know how much her new powers affected her."

Sazh was silent for a moment.

"I remember well when she appeared in my dreams", he finally said. "Snow and Noel agreed with me. She looked like a goddess of legend, with that armor and feathers and that lofty demeanor. She was so different to that rude, behemoth-mannered lass I met on the Purge train."

That word again.

_"Goddess."_

Such a beautiful though double-edged word. No one understood better than Hope how perfectly that adjective described her. But, on the other hand… it highlighted the fact that she would always be a step above him.

Time ago, it had been their age difference. Now, it was their own nature.

_"She's a goddess. And I'm only human."_

How could someone like her lower herself to love a mere human? Even for fal'Cie, who were considered minor deities, humans were nothing more than disposable tools.

"I know what's on your mind, kid", Sazh said looking at him with squinted eyes; Hope cursed to himself when he realized he had let his thoughts reflect on his face. "And I don't think she would've forgotten her humanity so easily. In fact, she looked to me even more human than usual. You know, asking us for help and stuff."

"At least", the young man murmured, still hurt by that fact, "she asked _you_ for help. I couldn't even see her."

"She spoke to you in your dreams only to tell you that you were doing the right thing, son. How many people would be worth Miss Grumpy's time just for telling them a compliment?", Sazh shook his head. "Why she decided not to appear in your dream, if you don't know that one, I definitely won't. But I think you're quite wrong about that."

Hope sighed again. He lost the count of the times he had done so that day. It kept happening to him every time he spoke of her.

Sazh looked at him seriously.

"Still decided to leave? After your little talk with the kids you didn't look that sure."

"Yes", the young man looked up, determination shining in both his eyes and face. "I won't give up about saving her, Sazh. Even… even if it's just for having a chance in my life."

After a silence, the older man nodded and rested his hand on Hope's shoulder in a fatherly way, his mature brown eyes fixed on his.

"Neither give up your own humanity, son. Perhaps, in the worst case, you'll need it to remind her of her own."

* * *

_"Memories are the everlasting chains of humanity."_


	5. Regret

_**A/N:**__ I didn't think I would be able to get this one today since it's late and it was a deep part, but anyway! That's the last one for now. Tomorrow, I hope to bring you the rest of this story. I can't believe this was initially a One-Shot, it's so long my fingers hurt by typing all day! _

_It was quite hard for me to write __**LR: FFXIII**__!Snow. I mean, poor guy. I tried to portrait his grief and stuff, and a possible reason for him confronting Lightning. In some ways, being against Lightning is like being against Hope, so that's why I came up with this._

* * *

_**Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII**_

* * *

**Humanity**

* * *

**V. Regret**

_"The sorrows of the dead would be mine to bear. It would be my atonement."_

* * *

Yusnaan, the City of Revelry.

The paradise of entertainment, noise and fireworks, an explosion of color in the rockiest island of Nova Chrysalia.

It was also home to the only active fal'Cie left in the world. The one who produced the necessary supplies for the people of that doomed land in order to survive.

At least until the day the apocalypse was prophesied to take place, one hundred seventy and a half years later.

Protected by their beloved Patron, the people of the second largest city in Nova Chrysalia spent their days in having fun, watching parades and welcoming feasts and spectacles.

Despite the attractiveness of the city, Hope didn't really like that much Yusnaan for two reasons: the hedonistic atmosphere all over the city, and the fact that virtually everyone there considered the former Director of the Academy the greatest traitor in all history, which forced him to constantly wear his cloak, hood and shades whenever he was in the city.

In his other trips, Hope went to Yusnaan mainly because of its fal'Cie and the cathedral. He was one of the few people in Nova Chrysalia who didn't consider religion part of his life, he only studied it from a scientific point of view. But one of the basic rules for a true researcher was the premise that in every religion and every belief was the foundation of the same nature, interpreted in one way or another. More than once he had turned to the priests from the cities and towns for information. And many times he got really valuable data of them.

He didn't care about if the gods existed or not. What he wanted to know was how that existence could affect the life and death of mortals.

The truth was, for that purpose, it would be worthier paying a visit to the cathedral and library of Luxerion, the sacred City of Light and capital of Nova Chrysalia. Completely devoted to religion and the study of the great Bhunivelze the God, it was the best and most reliable source for those who wanted to learn more about the gods and their powers. In comparison, Yusnaan was nothing more than a bookstore, and its priests a bunch of babblers.

No, if Hope had come to the City of Revelry it wasn't exactly because of the quality of the information he could get from there.

His reason was inside the huge, luxurious palace which stood in the city's main square, facing an exclusive place where the most spectacular and expensive parades were shown.

Once he got there, he stopped, watching the palace closely. The entrance, of course, was guarded by the personal guard of the Patron and tamed monsters that strengthened the cordon.

Asking politely for an audience was completely discarded. Yusnaan was the worst place he could come with if he wanted to come up to the guards as Hope Estheim asking to meet the Patron. But, fortunately, he had the solution for that.

In previous visits to Yusnaan, Hope used to study the layout of the palace and its possible entrances and exits. While the city's library had no interest for him in scholarly stuff, they had the decency to point out a few details about the grand palace's construction, and the young Estheim's privileged mind did the rest by linking them with the form and structure of the building. No one better than him, the designer of the artificial continent that now floated in the skies of Nova Chrysalia, to know how all kind of structures worked.

_"It's time to test out my research."_

Sneaking into the palace wasn't nearly as complicated as he feared. Once he got through the first security line, which was placed outside the perimeter of the building, thanks to a ventilation duct at the rear, it was easy to avoid the few guards patrolling the inside. His notions about tracing and infiltration, learned during his time as a l'Cie, proved to be extremely useful there. Besides, Hope always had a special ability to go unnoticed if he wanted to.

He went through rooms and hallways, his five senses alert and the sixth –an extraordinary ability to foresee upcoming danger– guiding him through the safest path. The hardest part of his incursion wasn't avoiding the guards, but finding the Patron of Yusnaan in such a gigantic building.

Luckily, he knew fairly well how the rooms were disposed and how they were connected to each other. It's just a matter of time, he told himself as he went through them. His sixth sense warned him in time to hide whenever a guard came close to him.

He smiled to himself feeling somewhat nostalgic. He discovered that power when he was only fourteen and received the brand of l'Cie, but it wasn't until much later, once the curse was removed by Goddess Etro's mercy, when he learned to control it. Besides predicting the immediate danger, this gift gave Hope a supernatural intuition.

It was this intuition that later finally led him to the room where the Patron of Yusnaan was, his back to him, looking over one of the large, glazed windows. Hope walked closer to him, hiding in the shadows.

Very tall and stout, broad-shouldered and stocky in general, his long, straight and messy blond hair covered his neck and fell on his shoulders. He was dressed in black, with a formal jacket, gloves, pants and boots. Despite how big and strong he was, Hope knew the Patron of the city was only twenty-three, at least physically.

He tilted his head, still amazed at the radical change that brought the course of events. All his old friends had went in one way or another through the Historia Crux, the gateway to all timelines, traveling forward in time and thus not aging more than three years, those which passed until the time gates started to appear. But for some reason, Hope had been the only one who couldn't ever enter the Historia Crux; consequence of this, he aged whole thirteen years until he built his own time-travel device, based on electromagnetism-induced hibernation. He met his friends when he was fourteen. Now he was twenty-seven.

_"If we don't count the years which passed since I stopped aging, then…"_, Hope thought while observing the Patron, and made a quick calculation. _"Five hundred years, almost three hundred and thirty… Chronologically, I'm eight hundred forty-four."_

The number was breathtaking. It was hard to believe that anyone could live for so long. _"Almost a millennium."_

Almost a millennium since the last time he saw her…

He pushed those thoughts aside from his mind. It wasn't the time to think about her, not now.

Unfortunately, the Patron of Yusnaan also had close ties with her. Or rather, with her deceased younger sister.

"It's been a long time, Snow", Hope greeted, trying to sound calm but watchful behind his serene mask.

The Patron turned as if moved by a spring. When their eyes met, Hope had to make an effort so his surprise wasn't reflected on his face.

Snow Villiers' face wasn't exactly the same he remembered. Yes, he still had blue eyes and that stubble beard. But during the more than three centuries since the last time they saw each other, hurt and anger had taken their toll creating wrinkles around his eyes and sharpening his features. Somehow, despite not aging anymore, Snow's loss aged him otherwise.

"You", Snow muttered once he noticed the tall hooded figure hidden in the shadows and recognizing him; even his voice had gone from being cheerful and optimistic to broken and harsh, as if he were dead on the inside. "What are you doing here? How'd you get in?"

"Your guard isn't taking as seriously as they should the matter of security", Hope said pulling off his hood, though still alert. "Have you given them orders to get me if they see me?"

Snow looked at him suspiciously. Although there was a time when Hope vowed to end his life for his role in his mother's death, he eventually decided to shelve revenge and though they had their differences, they got along pretty well.

Now, both young men watched the other one warily, as if fearing a sudden, unexpected attack by the other. They had reasons to act that way, but Hope still didn't like the situation at all.

Chaos hadn't only brought destruction, but discord. Comrades against comrades. Friends against friends.

"I hoped I wouldn't have to do it", Snow said after that tense silence. "We already made our positions clear. We had nothing more to talk about."

"For that matter, you're right", Hope admitted; he frowned when he confirmed that, sadly, Snow didn't change his mind. "But I didn't come because of that."

The Patron of Yusnaan growled. He was looking at Hope with mingled anger and a hint of disdain. The young scientist knew he had earned his contempt, but it was too unpleasant to see it in Snow's eyes nonetheless. When they met, he was the eternal optimist.

"Say, then, why are you here, and get out of here", Snow snapped. Hope chided himself for being so naïve; clearly half of the reasons for his visit to Yusnaan hadn't any meaning. Perhaps, if he was lucky enough, the other half wouldn't end on deaf ears.

But judging by Snow's desire to help him, it didn't seem to him he was going to succeed. Anyway, he had to try.

"You're the last l'Cie left in the world", Hope said adjusting the shades that served him as a mask. Snow placed involuntarily a hand on this forearm, where his l'Cie brand was engraved. "And you went through a long journey across the Historia Crux as well. You're the only one who can answer me some questions I have, that's why I'm here."

"I'm not the only one who can", Snow replied. "Instead of bothering me, you may go have your interview with Noel."

"Noel wouldn't have as many qualms as you about stabbing me once I'm in sight. I hope you understand you're my last resort."

Snow's only response was an annoyed grunt. _"I think he's getting nervous."_ Hope decided the wisest thing would be getting to the point.

"My recent research suggests that the cause of Nova Chrysalia being slowly destroyed is related to a supernatural power… or rather, _unnatural_", the young man exposed folding his arms, as he always did whenever he was explaining a theory. "Since Chaos it's supposed to be a natural power, it has to be something different…"

"Make it short", Snow cut him sharply.

"As far as I know, you had several encounters with Chaos energy during your time travels. What I want to know is how Chaos interacted with the physical world before the Great Infusion", Hope tried to make his explanation as simple as possible. "Here, Chaos summons monsters and unleashes extremely destructive forces. Was it different from the Chaos you saw back then?"

Snow stared at him. Hope was well aware he was still considering whether to answer or not. As things were left between them the last time they saw each other, he could consider himself lucky if he honored him with an answer.

"The Chaos I found wasn't exactly like the one which flooded the world", Snow said just when Hope thought he would have to leave empty-handed. "It was destructive and summoned all kind of vermin, but now it only visibly appears from time to time. The former Chaos looked like as if it had… a _goal_."

The Patron's words echoed through Hope's mind as he began to piece things together. _"A goal?"_ Obviously, Snow didn't know much of distortions in space-time fabric and how it affected the world, but his explanation, despite coming from someone without such knowledge, had been extremely clear.

So clear, that Hope asked himself how it was that he hadn't realized of that detail until then. That's why he liked to ask opinions to those who weren't as versed in those subjects: they usually got to the main question earlier than scientists, who usually got lost in the maze of small details.

"You mean, Chaos acted deliberately before…", the young man muttered, still amazed by the reveal.

"But it achieved that goal, I guess, because since then it only appears sometimes", Snow clenched his fists. "It took away what it was gonna be my family. That's all I know, and all I want to know, about Chaos."

Hope looked away. He knew what was coming next.

He remembered well the reason why their former group had split up, divided by pain, anger and guilt. There had been two main reasons, and Snow in particular said them almost three hundred and thirty years ago.

_"My fiancée's sister sent her to her death knowing what would happen to her! And now she's left our fates! I hoped you would keep up to the circumstances as a good leader… I was a fool to believe it! All you've ever done is follow the steps of your mentor, 'Director Estheim'."_

That happened at the summit of Etro's Shrine, shortly after the Great Chaos Infusion. There, the former group reunited after five hundred years, with two notable exceptions.

The Farron sisters.

Serah, Snow's fiancée, lay dead in her beloved's arms. Lightning, Etro's Champion, was crystallized in the Goddess' throne.

When Sazh's airship, on which also were Hope, Noel Kreiss and the at the moment crystallized Fang and Vanille, crashed, the Director of the Academy had ran towards Etro's Shrine once he saw his beloved city of Academia become the city of the dead, Valhalla, as a result of the Unseen Realm merging with the physical world. If it was Valhalla, Lightning had to be there. No one would have stopped him.

But, when he reached the top of the temple, she had turned into a crystal statue. All that time looking tirelessly for her, trying to help her in her mission to save the future from the physical world, only to get back to a dead end. He couldn't even touch her: the Goddess' throne floated over a pit opened in the center of the room.

The thought of all his efforts having been in vain, both for her and for humanity, was what made him take that decision the world still reproached him.

There, at the top of Etro's Shrine, with all his old friends present, Hope renounced to his title and role of Director of the Academy.

Snow was the first one who called out to him for his choice. _"Obviously."_ Since he met him, Snow was always trying to help those who needed help. Hope's decision was offensive to his very principles. And, after Serah's death, his pain turned into bitterness.

The young scientist remembered perfectly his own answer to the accusation of his former comrade.

_"My mentor taught me to choose my own path and make my own decisions. If that means to follow on her footsteps, Snow, then I'll follow them. I won't stop until I find a way to save both her and Serah."_

After that, they hadn't spoken again. The group, formerly united against all odds, split up between those who supported Snow, those who sided with Hope –or rather, with Lightning– and those who chose a neutral position.

It was crystal clear that Snow hadn't changed his mind about the one who once was to be his sister-in-law. Hope understood him, but he would never justify that he chose to lock himself in a palace as the Patron and not moving a finger to find a way to save Serah and Lightning.

"You already have what you wanted", Snow growled, interrupting his thoughts. "Now go away and don't ever come back here."

"Snow", Hope shook his head, refusing to believe that his old friend was acting like that so willingly. "I know that centuries ago it could sound crazy, but I've come a long way in my research. If I get more data, perhaps I can bring Lightning back… She must know how to save Serah, she has to–"

"ENOUGH!", Snow roared, and Hope stumbled backwards helplessly; he had never seen him so angry. His fury wasn't projected only to him, but also to the world that took away from him what he loved most. "Serah's dead. And, if you care just a damn bit for the rest of humanity, you won't ever try to bring Lightning back."

Hope could've expected any other reason, but those last words, he would've never thought he would ever hear them coming out of his mouth.

Lightning… shouldn't ever come back?

"What are you saying, Snow? How can you say…? Do you really not want having Lightning back with us?", the young man felt sheer rage boiling in his veins, threatening to let loose his temper, which only in very rare times took the best of him. "Have you lost your mind?! What's wrong with you?! How do you think Serah would feel if she knew you didn't even try to help her sister?!"

Snow gritted his teeth, his blue eyes gleaming with anger.

"You don't have any idea, have you?", Hope's rage subsided at his question. "Such an exhaustive research you must be doing. By now all Nova Chrysalia must know it already."

"What are you talking about? What is it that I don't know and I should to?", the former Director of the Academy asked, his gaze not accepting 'no' as an answer. "Answer me, Snow!"

But the Patron of Yusnaan scowled with contempt and turned away.

"Go away", he snapped sharply. "Don't make me call my guard. They won't have my patience."

The temptation of casting a spell on Snow to force him to answer was so strong, but Hope knew that starting a confrontation was the least wise thing to do. And even though he was a powerful and skillful mage, he knew well the power of l'Cie and was aware that, in a match against Snow, he would have no chance.

He took several deep breaths, trying to calm down. He managed to control his anger, but the words of the Patron scattered the seeds of doubt in his heart and he only would feel at ease if he resolved that new mystery.

"Goodbye, Snow", he said coldly, covering his head with the hood. "I won't ever bother you again."

Without waiting for an answer, he left the room and left the palace, this time by taking a whole different route. It wasn't a random decision; perhaps someday he would need again his knowledge of the building.

A while later, Hope left Yusnaan on the monorail that was taking off the City of Revelry's station, with the mystery about Lightning and waking her up stalking his thoughts as he watched without seeing the night sky from his wagon's window.

_"Looks like my trip is going to last longer than I initially thought."_

* * *

_"Not being able to change the past is the most painful regret of humanity."_


	6. Sympathy

_**A/N:**__ Well then, I'm back! This part was quite long and so it took me some time to translate, but after this one, they're a bit shorter. So I hope I can bring you all of this story today! Since I've got all written, I wanna post it whole!_

* * *

_**Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII**_

* * *

**Humanity**

* * *

**VI. Sympathy**

_"But somewhere inside, I still felt uneasy. Vanille and Fang were gone."_

* * *

If there was any place more desolate than the Wildlands in Nova Chrysalia, that was the Dead Dunes. A vast desert littered with ruins and threats, inhabited only by treasure seekers, bounty hunters, mercenaries, thieves and bandits in no more than three settlements scattered through the sand.

It wasn't the best place to live, of course, because of the extreme weather, lack of resources and the constant threat of monsters. But it was the best place for anonymity, without doubt. In the Dead Dunes, nobody cared about the identity of other people. Perhaps outside the Dunes they'd stab you in the back if someone paid well for it, but the taverns of the settlements were considered a sanctuary among those who went there. Everyone who entered in one could be sure nobody would unsheathe a weapon.

That night, at the tavern of a settlement located near a large oasis, was a tall, strong wild-looking woman with long, messy black hair and deep-green eyes; she had a beauty mark under the right eye. She wore a simple black top that bared her midriff, but she covered her slender, well-built body with a long, blue sari. There were many bracelets tinkling on her wrists, and on her right forearm she sported a large tattoo that was proof of her status as a strong fighter, if the red, two-bladed spear pinned to her back wasn't clear enough.

In the moment that woman had crossed the threshold, the rest of the customers had rushed out of her way, intimidated. She hadn't even flinched: she walked to the bar and ordered a drink before sitting at a table away from prying ears.

It wasn't something she used to do. She usually got the bar all for herself, and neither she needed to get away from others for fear of being overheard. In fact, she found it somewhat insulting.

But the person she was going to meet that day had powerful reasons for wanting to avoid all possible risks.

She hadn't to wait too long until the curtains of the tavern's entrance opened, and a tall, thin hooded figure entered the place. He looked around and his gaze fell on the woman, and he went to the table without saying a word.

"Perfect timing", the young woman said, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow, once he took a seat opposite to her.

"I don't know how I managed to", Hope admitted taking his hood off; in that place he didn't have to fear an attack. "Walking through the desert is horrible. And I almost got lost twice, and in the same places as always."

The woman laughed heartily.

"Years won't heal clumsiness, huh? Or, in your case, your dreadful sense of direction."

"Stop it, Fang", Hope protested, but he smiled shyly. "My sense of direction isn't as bad as you think. It's just I'm not used to the desert, right? All this landscape looks the same for me."

Oerba Yun Fang, a dragoon and one of Hope's old friends, chuckled amusedly. She patted the young scientist's cheek in a maternal though teasing gesture.

"Whatever you say, short stuff. I'd have to see you going through the Dunes all day, that would toughen you up more than anything you've done in all your life. You'd see how much you'd ginger up."

"Come on now. The Wildlands aren't a chocobo ride, Fang, and you know it."

"Oh, kid, even that's a terrible thing for you", Fang winked mockingly. Hope had to suppress an exasperated sigh: whenever he went to the Dead Dunes to talk to her, the same story happened. Fang liked to tease people, that was all.

"Will you let me speak freely or you're going to interrupt me the whole conversation? As you always do, if I may say so."

"How lousy sense of humor. You live all alone in a ruined place", Fang feigned a yawn. "You need someone to tease you a little."

Only that woman could have such a carefree and cocky attitude in the kind of situation the world was facing. Although it was since the Great Infusion when his bond with her had become closer, Hope had always admired Fang's strength, both inner and physical, since he was a kid.

The bartender came to the table when he noticed a new customer had come in, and he asked Hope what he would want to have.

"Coffee, please", the young man asked; the bartender nodded and walked away. Hope felt Fang's gaze on him, and he asked rolling his eyes, "What is it now?"

"Still just feeding yourself with coffee, huh? No wonder there's no way for you to grow some muscle. If you did, that would take your sex appeal to a whole new level, kid. You'd have all ladies chasing after you like chocobos to Gysahl Greens. Even more, I mean."

"Fang!", Hope was blushing fiercely. She laughed out loud, getting the looks of other customers, to further embarrassment of the young man.

"Don't you worry, you already know you're not my type", she said once she considered she had teased Hope enough.

"I know. Fortunately for me", the bartender interrupted them by placing a steaming cup of coffee in front of Hope. Once he thanked him and the bartender was out of earshot, the former Director of the Academy gave Fang a serious look. "Well, now that you've had some fun at my expense, can we talk about the matter we have at hand?"

"The one you told me in your last letter?", Fang clasped her hands on the table. "Oh yeah, it sounded pretty important. All that stuff about Chaos origin and how the apocalypse process is accelerating… I'd remember it better if you explained things in a way a normal person could understand it."

Although Hope lived isolated from the rest of Nova Chrysalia in many ways, he hadn't lost contact with the only member of his former group that believed in Lightning's good will and by extent, his, and offered to help him. It was none other than Fang, who awakened from her crystal sleep right after the Great Infusion, having been crystallized for five-hundred years after Cocoon's Fall.

All of them took their own paths after the cataclysm, but those who believed in Lightning hadn't been sitting idly.

Hope researched tirelessly in order to find a way to awake her. And Fang, who chose the Dead Dunes as her home, traced the ruins of the desert in search of ancient artifacts to make money for her and to help Hope in his research as well.

Hope and Fang wrote letters to the other one relatively often. Hope's last letter to the dragoon, about five years ago, told her about the possible origins and nature of the power that devastated the world and, after a really long time researching, he believed he had located a possible source.

"I think it's not just Chaos we're dealing with", Hope explained to Fang after a long time updating her about his newest results. "We've been assuming it was all Chaos' fault, when it looks increasingly clearer each day, there's something much worse out there."

"I see…", Fang briefly looked up. "And that's why you went to Yusnaan to get some piece of information from biggest-oaf-ever Snow. You made him spit anything out?"

"Not so much, but it could've been worse. He basically told me the difference between the Chaos we face now and the Chaos he saw during his time travels was that right now it doesn't seem to have any goal. Do you understand what that means?"

Fang frowned.

"I think I do. The Chaos that flooded the world when it was merged with Valhalla had some kind of awareness."

"Exactly", Hope took a sip of coffee. "Since Snow told me that, I've done nothing but investigate everything in Gran Pulse's mythology files, even the oldest ones. But after whole months, I can't say I've achieved much."

"And then you came to ask me about that mythology", Fang guessed raising her eyebrows with a grin. Hope took a deep breath, praying she wouldn't start again with her pranks.

"It wasn't the only reason, but yes, it was one of them. You lived the War of Transgression, Fang, and that happened over thousand years ago. If there's anyone who knows firsthand some information than can be lost in the files, that's you."

Fang fiddled absently with her glass, her long fingers gently tapping on the wooden table. After a few seconds of silence, she looked back at Hope, and noticed an almost feverish gleam in his green eyes. He looked like he needed any information, anything that could finally get him closer to his goal.

The dragoon smiled to herself. Hope did a good job by masking his emotions, but sometimes he lost that control over them. The truth was, he had true reasons to be more and more desperate each time she saw him.

"Not that I know much about gods", she said shrugging. "The priests of Oerba taught all children about mythology, but only in a basic level. When Vanille and I were chosen to be servants of the fal'Cie, we had some kind of preparatory training… But it was all related to Hallowed Pulse and the war against Fell Lindzei."

"What about Etro? Did they mention her at all?"

"Not much. In Oerba, priests only spoke a bit about Etro and they described her as a dark, gloomy goddess who took the lives of people without mercy."

Hope raised his eyebrows for a moment, surprised.

"It's curious, that almost all of Gran Pulse's civilizations described Etro like that… Paddra seems the only one which worshipped her as a compassionate, merciful deity."

"I don't really care about how she was or not", Fang said, "but trapping Lightning against her will in Valhalla for centuries and giving Serah a power that ended up killing her, that doesn't sound merciful to me."

She had put her finger on it. Hope closed his eyes and ducked his head, a lump in his throat. In general, the gods were indifferent to him, but the harsh reality was he wasn't that alien to their actions as he liked to think.

Fang wasn't exactly the most sympathetic person in the world, but she and Hope had been comrades and since she awakened their friendship became stronger. Seeing him like that made her struggle to remember the priests' lessons, so distant now in her memory, looking for something that could help him to awake Lightning.

"From what little we were told about Etro… I'm not very sure, that happened long ago and I didn't pay much attention to their chatter. But I remember something the priests said about Etro sealing by herself a great evil in order to protect humans. I cannot tell you more because I can't remember, but perhaps it has something to do with what you've told me about Chaos."

Hope tilted his head thoughtfully. It wasn't anything too revealing, but it was better than nothing. If only he could figure out what kind of evil was that…

"Thanks, Fang. It may be useful to me."

"Not at all", she said kindly winking, and sipped from her drink. "Oh yes, I forgot. You told me that Snow the-Patron-of-fool prattled about you shouldn't wake up Lightning, didn't you?"

"Yeah", Hope frowned at the memory; the simple idea still annoyed him. "I've been trying to find out why, but I can't go out there asking people about something like that without getting far more attention than I would like."

"Hmm", Fang stared at the young man. "How long has it been since you started this little adventure of yours?"

Hope did a quick silent calculation. It was a bit hard to keep track of the time without a constant reference, but he roughly knew how many months passed, one after another, as he traveled the continents that composed Nova Chrysalia.

"About a year, I think. Perhaps more than a year. Anyway, one year or one less, that doesn't mean anything to us anymore."

"Aha… Well, you see, I think I know why did he say that", Fang lowered her voice and bent her head towards Hope confidentially. "Perhaps it's nothing more than a rumor, but I heard some people around here speaking about an Oracle Drive found in Luxerion with a hardly reassuring prophecy in it."

"An Oracle Drive?", Hope blinked in surprise.

"Yeah, that's what I heard. They said the prophecy it has recorded reveals the identity of the Savior, no less. And they said... it's a pink-haired woman."

The revelation took a moment to sink in Hope's mind. The young scientist, wide-eyed and paler than he already was, let out the air caught in his lungs and collapsed on his chair.

The figure of the Savior was part of one of Nova Chrysalia's legends that were told after people knew the world would come to an end five centuries later. It was only known, the Savior was a demigod figure chosen by Bhunivelze and tasked with the burden of 'saving' souls and taking them to a new world. For some, the Savior was the hero who would save them from utter annihilation; for others, a cruel and heartless angel of death.

Hope had never paid too much attention to that story and only knew the same the rest of Nova Chrysalia knew about it. The breaking news of that prophecy showing a pink-haired woman as the Savior was too shocking and unexpected to be assimilated easily.

"… A pink-haired woman…", he repeated breathlessly. "Do you think… she could be Lightning? Could it really be her…?"

"I don't think she's the only woman in the world with pink hair", Fang observed, "but I only know two ladies who fit that description who have been gifted by the gods. And, since one of them is dead, if you ask me, I don't have many doubts about who it is if the prophecy ends up being true."

Hope was still staring at infinity, pale and trembling. He couldn't believe it yet. If it was true, did that mean, he would manage to wake Lightning up somehow? Or would it be for a whole different reason?

"That's why Snow said I mustn't awake her if I cared about the world's future… I'm sure he also thinks it's Lightning who appears in that prophecy."

"Thinking about her when someone talks about a pink-haired woman is like putting two and two, at least for us", Fang noted rightly, "specially now that Serah's dead."

A long silence, in which only the chatter of the other customers and the clink of cutlery and glasses could be heard, fell. Hope used the break in their conversation to keep drinking his coffee and gather his thoughts again after such news.

If Lightning appeared in a prophecy of the future… she was to wake up at some point, in one way or another. All of a sudden, the goal to which he devoted his research and work no longer seemed as impossible as before.

"I must go to Luxerion", the young man finally decided. "I have to see that prophecy with my own eyes, or at least find out everything I can about it."

"I knew you would", Fang smiled. "Yet in Luxerion you have no few enemies. But that won't stop you, am I wrong?"

"Never stopped me", Hope smiled back. "What about you, Fang? What are you going to do now?"

She started to play again with her glass.

"I've been thinking of founding my own guild of treasure hunters. That would make my work a lot easier, I would find more artifacts that I'm sure you'd find useful. More than half of the guys here would pay me for being under my wing."

"That's an interesting idea", Hope said, but gave Fang a concerned look. "But what about Vanille? Aren't you planning to talk to her?"

Now it was time to Fang to lose her mask; within a second, she lost her overwhelming self-confidence and cockiness. In the dragoon's eyes surfaced sadness and pain, a sigh escaped from her lips.

"She chose her path", she said slowly, "and I chose mine. We disagreed, and we acted accordingly."

Oerba Dia Vanille, the most important person in Fang's life, who had been sleeping with her in crystal stasis for five centuries until their awakening, was part of the group that decided not to take again the responsibility of saving a world. She understood both Hope and, by extension, Lightning, but she chose to let life go on and simply help those in need. That wasn't a regrettable decision at all, but it created a rift between her and Fang, who was in favor of acting in the here and now, not ready to let the apocalypse happen and end their lives. The last thing Hope knew about her was that she joined the Order of Luxerion, preaching God's mercy and so giving people in those hard times something to believe in.

"It's hard for me to think Vanille decided not to help us", Hope said, for whom Vanille was a very dear friend; in one of his trips, the last time he talked to her, she had offered him accommodation in the capital's cathedral. "But it's even harder to imagine she and you could ever be separated, or that your relationship could break like this."

"Neither did I… But these things happen. No hard feelings to Vanille at all; if things returned to normal and she wanted to came to me again, I wouldn't think twice about it", Fang said ruefully. "But in the meantime, it's best we stay away from each other if we don't agree. Even if it's just to not further damage our bond."

Hope nodded.

"Being separated from the person you love is so hard…", he said, however, closing his eyes, his voice tinged with sadness. "It's so hard, it's difficult for me to imagine anyone could do it voluntarily."

Yes, Hope would've been unable to. For more than eight centuries he hadn't talked to the woman he loved, to who he couldn't even say goodbye. More than eight centuries tirelessly working and researching to bring her back to where she belonged.

Fang sighed, and with sweetness so rare in her, perhaps caused by the image of the one who once was the youngest and most innocent member of their group, so devastated by his loss, she took one of his gloved hands and squeezed it gently, trying to give him part of the strength he would need in order to endure this ordeal.

"If you really love her", the young dragoon told him, "trust me, there's nothing that can stand in your way to save her."

Hope said nothing, but gave a bittersweet half-smile.

If anyone knew what those words meant, that was Fang, who would've destroyed a thousand worlds without any hesitation if it had meant Vanille, her soulmate, was safe.

Would he be able to bear the burden of awakening the Savior if her coming would really bring nothing more than death and destruction to the world?

_"Right now, that's the last thing I'm worrying about."_

* * *

_"Sympathy towards evil is the fatal flaw of humanity."_


	7. Solitude

_**A/N:**__ This part is quite short, but anyway, since I'm posting all parts in the moment I finish translating them, that's not really a problem. So, well, only four parts left! Stay tuned!_

* * *

_**Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII**_

* * *

**Humanity**

* * *

**VII. Solitude**

_"This endless realm is awash with sadness."_

* * *

After a harsh journey across the mountains that followed a long way through the Wildlands, Hope reached the top of the hill and observed the landscape before him.

The ruins of Valhalla, which once had been the stunning megalopolis of Academia. The desolate place the young scientist called home.

He closed his eyes to the sunset light. It had been so long since the last time his eyes watched that place. A year and a half, to be exact.

It had been a long trip through Nova Chrysalia, looking for information and clues that may help him in his research. The final stretch had been the most fruitful one.

During the six months that followed his conversation with Fang in the Dead Dunes, Hope traveled to Luxerion, the sacred City of Light. He couldn't possibly had access to the Oracle Drive because the Order, the religious group that ran the capital, kept it under heavy guard. Against his will, Hope decided not to tempt fate: he wasn't in bad terms with the Order, but neither could say they trusted him very much, and the only person who would intercede for him in case he got in trouble was Vanille. He didn't want to cause her any problem; that's why he didn't usually talk to Vanille whenever he visited the city.

He spent much of those months in the city and its surroundings, researching everything he could about the prophecy and the Savior's legend. All his results seemed to confirm the mysterious woman who appeared in the Oracle Drive's images was Lightning, but without seeing it by himself, Hope couldn't be sure. He would've recognized her instantly if he had watched it.

When he got back to a dead end, he decided to return home and calmly study the new data he had collected with the appropriate material. He hadn't even stopped at Canopus Farms to greet Sazh; he wasn't in the mood to tell him the news, not yet. In fact, he still had to assume them. There would be plenty of time to pay him a visit.

He silently walked through the ruins, making his way through debris under the sunset, his thoughts lost in all his experiences during that year and a half, towards the large building that once was the colossal Academy's headquarters, and that now was the temple of the fallen Goddess Etro.

There, at the top, young Lightning was sleeping, turned into a crystal statue.

Hope narrowed his eyes. _"A year and a half without seeing you."_ He could see her crystallized form without any problem by all the times he had contemplated her, but he couldn't help but miss her with all his heart every time he was leaving.

He finally arrived to his house, one of the closest buildings to Etro's Shrine, which fortunately for him had remained relatively intact. Over the years, Hope had been working to make it a more comfortable home. It wasn't an easy task and it still was a bit rundown, but he didn't care. He lived alone and no one ever visited him, so the only thing that mattered was how close he was to Lightning.

He was tempted to go to the top of the temple to see her, but he had to admit he was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. He needed time to rest, to gather his thoughts and think about his research. There was no hurry.

Unfortunately for him, he knew she wasn't going to move from where she was.

He left his few belongings, mainly composed of notes and notes, on the floor next to his desk, and took his long black cloak off before heading to his bed. He dropped himself on it letting out a deep exhausted sigh. He buried his face in the pillow, closed his eyes and simply let his mind fly.

The memories of his journey slowly came to him. His brief stay at Sazh's home, the children of Canopus Farms, his tense encounter with Snow in his palace of Yusnaan, his conversation with Fang in that tavern of the Dead Dunes, his extensive research on the mysterious prophecy in the city of Luxerion.

And so came to him random memories from all the years he spent traveling and researching across Nova Chrysalia, always with his ultimate goal in his heart, his greatest and most precious secret.

_"Three hundred and thirty-one years."_

Just before falling asleep, Hope's last thought was, inevitably, for Lightning.

_"Three hundred and thirty-one years since the day I finally found you."_

* * *

_"Humanity can not bear the weight of solitude."_


	8. Guilt

_**A/N:**__ I really, really wanted to translate this one. All my love for symbolism and metaphores, and of course some angsty Hope/Lightning! I don't know why I'm so fond of angst. Perhaps it's because their whole situation in_ **XIII-2**_ is pretty angsty... This is my first take ever at a true romance/angst scene, so please, don't kill me for sucking at it!_

* * *

_**Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII**_

* * *

**Humanity**

* * *

**VIII. Guilt**

_"For me, there is nothing... There is no hope."_

* * *

Darkness.

That was all around him. All he could see, all he could feel.

It wasn't a static darkness. It was moving, wavy, almost liquid. It seemed as if it would swallow Hope, who walked through it almost blindly, not knowing where he was going, or if he was actually going anywhere.

He was just walking, without any target. Without any light guiding him, he felt lost, moving only because he had to.

_"I hadn't any destination… But I kept going on despite that. I was looking for any clue that might take me to the same light I lost."_

As much as he walked and walked, maybe for hours, Hope was surrounded by nothing more than total darkness. There was anything, nor anyone, in that place. And yet he kept going like an automaton, not actually thinking why he did so. Just walk and walk in the shadows, fueled only by his wish for finding that light that would brighten the world around him.

But that light didn't come, no matter how much he went forward.

There came a time when Hope stopped paying attention to his surroundings in search of something that could indicate the presence of a light. His eyes remained fixed on what lay ahead, not focused in anything else.

_"I stopped looking for the light to just wait for the time our paths would cross again…"_

Something glimmered in the distance through the dense darkness. It was only a faint glow that barely made its way in the shadows, but Hope's eyes immediately noticed it. His until then apathetic heart skipped a beat, and the young man lost no time to run to the light's source.

He ran and ran, and even though he couldn't be so far away, the distance between them seemed endless, and then he realized how intensely he had been waiting for the light to manifest amidst that lonely, gloomy world of darkness.

When he finally reached the source of the light, Hope stopped short, trying to catch his breath. His eyes, now used to the darkness, took a while to identify what they were watching.

There, in the center of the soft glow that defied the darkness, was a gray stone slab on an altar, really similar to the stone of Valhalla's buildings. In the slab's head and foot were large wing-shaped sculptures that seemed to soar to the heavens, littered by crystal formations. The stony altar was beautifully engraved with plant carvings and texts written in Etro's script. The floor, if one considered there was any floor in that place, was covered with beautiful, snow-white feathers, like a carpet.

But that wasn't what made Hope's green eyes open completely wide, gleaming with a spark that hadn't appeared in them for centuries.

Lying on the slab, apparently deep asleep, there was a young woman. She had a heart-shaped face, bright pink hair resting perfectly on her left shoulder and spread on the plain stone surface. Her body, slender and strong though graceful, wasn't wearing the armor he remembered she did, but the tight leather parts to which the armor was attached covered it, gently emphasizing her curves. Her hips were the only part covered by a metal piece; from her left one, a long white-feathered sash hung down one side of the slab.

Hope came closer, initially in disbelief. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Lightning Farron, the young warrior he so desperately had been looking for.

When he finally reacted, he forgot about all caution and ran to her, and the name he had spent years longing to say escaped from his lips.

"LIGHT!"

If he had been waiting for her to open her eyes upon hearing her name, he was wrong. When he got to her side, Lightning was still lying, motionless. Not reacting in any way.

Hope leaned over to contemplate her, fascinated. She was as beautiful as he remembered, it looked like all those years hadn't passed for the young warrior. His eyes stared at her eagerly, focusing on her closed eyelids –under which Hope knew two icy-blue eyes were hidden–, her thin nose, her slightly parted lips, and as he drank in that beloved sight he felt his cheeks blushing.

"Light", the young man whispered, and softly grazed Lightning's nose with a gloved finger in a shy attempt to awake her. "Can you hear me?"

There was no answer. No movement, nor reaction.

The emotion Hope had felt when he saw her began to turn into concern and worry when he realized Lightning didn't wake up from that strange slumber. She seemed lost in some kind of induced lethargy.

Still, Hope wasn't willing to give up. Not after finally finding her, after such a long time looking for her.

"Please, Light, wake up", the young man said, bringing his face lose to hers for her to hear him better, if she did it at all. "It's me, Hope. Remember me?"

Lightning remained silent.

"Come on, Light…", Hope kept insisting, his hand gently shaking her shoulder. "I know you're in there. Please, open your eyes…"

But try as he might, Lightning didn't answer. No matter what Hope said, or how hard he tried to wake her up from that trance, she remained indifferent to the young scientist's increasing worry.

After a long time of vain attempts, Hope carefully passed an arm around her shoulders to get her up on the slab. Her left arm fell inert to her side, her neck cocked as if she were a ragdoll.

A horrible thought struck Hope's mind. _"It can't be… She can't be possibly dead!"_ He studied her face, feeling the panic quickly taking over him.

Lightning's cheeks had a soft pink tone similar to her hair, nothing to do with the deadly paleness Hope had seen in her sister Serah's lifeless body, minutes before the Great Infusion. By remembering Serah, he realized how much both sisters resembled each other; he had noticed how much Serah resembled Lightning, but never the other way.

Anyway, he couldn't be sure that in Lightning there still was a shred of life only by the color of her face. After hesitating for a second, Hope shyly slid his free hand over the young woman's belly, looking for any hint of breathing.

Maybe his gloves prevented him from noticing any movement or perhaps they were so weak that they were imperceptible. Either that… or there wasn't any life left inside Lightning.

_"No… It can't be!"_

"I beg you, Light, don't do this to me…", Hope's voice was steeped in the most absolute and sheer panic. At the time he didn't think about taking his gloves off to see if Lightning was breathing or not. The only thing that mattered was to check it.

Well aware that if Lightning had been conscious he would've earned one of her punches for it, Hope brought his fact so close to hers that their lips were separated by just an inch, a distance the young man would've gladly bridged. But he silenced that nagging little voice that told him to do so and focused on what he was feeling.

He soon noticed something warm grazing his lips. It was Lightning's breath, so weak that at first he didn't realized what it was.

He sighed, deeply relieved.

Lightning was alive.

But then… why did she not wake up? Why was she so unresponsive?

"What's wrong, Light?", Hope muttered, not getting away from her; feeling her soft breath so close was a miracle for him. "If there's still life in you… why don't you wake up? Why don't you answer me?"

Only silence followed his words. Lightning's breathing was so weak it wasn't even heard in that dark, lonely place.

Knowing that she was alive, holding her in his arms and yet being unable to reach her ended with the little control that remained intact over his emotions. Hope tried to hold the tears that began to fill his eyes and tightly embraced Lightning, holding her against his trembling body.

"What I have to do to reach you, Light? Why is always something there that keeps me from being by your side?", Hope's voice cracked by the minute, broken by pain. "I've loved you since I was just a kid… Since the Goddess took you to Valhalla, I haven't spent a day without thinking of you. I've devoted myself to finding you, to save you from your fate… And now that at last I've found you, I can't even wake you up from your sleep…"

Those words were what made him realize what was happening.

Despite having life inside her, Lightning didn't react, completely oblivious to her surroundings, indifferent to Hope's endeavors to awake her.

Like a crystal statue. Cold, lifeless, unmoved.

Hope's heart stopped for a moment when he realized he hadn't done anything but relive what had been his life since Lightning disappeared until that moment. That the truth was he hadn't found the woman he loved, but he had faced his true plight, that which for centuries he had strived to repress.

That, once again, he was unable to save her from a fate that any human could ever change.

The pain, the anger, the frustration that filled Hope's very soul couldn't be described with words. He couldn't believe it, he didn't want to believe it. Years, centuries of effort, lost in a fantasy he had inadvertently fed and, in the moment it went crumbling down, it was infinitely more devastating than if he hadn't chosen that path.

"Light…", Hope whispered, his green eyes filled with tears he barely could hold and not leaving Lightning's closed eyelids. "I…"

The lump in his throat kept him from finishing the sentence. He felt his whole body trembling, his face still so close to hers… The voice of his subconscious was already an order he could hardly stifle, it was a need too compelling to silence it.

_"I… I can't take this anymore."_

All the despair and pain he was feeling was what urged Hope to do something he wouldn't have ever done in any other circumstance. But he had always dreamed of a chance, and even if it wasn't real, he just couldn't let it go.

He closed his eyes tightly and, without stopping to think for a second, the young man bridged the few inches that separated his face from Lightning's and pressed his lips against hers, grazing hers in a utterly tender, delicate and gentle kiss, so full of love and the deepest sadness, knowing that this was no tale, that the princess of his dreams wouldn't wake up to return his feelings, that fate hadn't planned a happy ending for them.

That thought brought tears to fall from Hope's eyes, leaving a bright trail on his cheeks. The former Director of the Academy, refusing to give up yet, tangled his fingers in the silky pink hair that fell over Lightning's neck and kissed her deeper, in a desperate attempt to savor the young warrior's lips' taste, to make that only chance last forever in his memory.

If it was so wonderful to get to kiss Lightning after so many centuries craving for it, even if it was in those circumstances… how would have it been if she had been conscious and truly alive?

Hope didn't want to think about it, not then. He could consider himself lucky with what he had come to get. He didn't want to ruin his first –and most likely last– kiss with thoughts about what could have been and haven't been.

It was a long, long kiss in which Hope put over eight hundred years of secret passion, so all the time he spent with Lightning's lips against his offset his sweetness and gentleness.

When he reluctantly pulled away for air, Hope buried his face in her silky hair that fell over her left shoulder, not making any effort to hold back the tears that fell, one after another, on Lightning's skin. He breathed slowly and deeply the delicate scent of roses that the young warrior's hair gave off as his thin body weakly convulsed because of the sobs he couldn't hold any longer.

He couldn't say for how long he was there, venting all the emotions he had to hold back for so long, crying for him, for her, for them. For the tragic fate of a goddess and a human who once were tasked with saving the future and now were doomed for their failure to be eternally together, yet eternally separated.

"Light… my Light…", the young man whispered in her ear over and over, his voice broken by grief, cradling her in his arms. "Forgive me… Please, forgive me…"

_"Please forgive me for having failed to my promise. Please forgive me for not being able to protect you."_

* * *

_"Guilt is the disease that can destroy humanity faster and crueler than any other."_


	9. Despair

_**A/N:**__ More angst for you! Argh, it's so hard to translate this from Spanish to English and make things have sense sometimes... I guess that's the inconvenient or not having English as my main language. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story despite my crappy English._

_So, well, we're getting close to the end of the story! I think I'll finish the translation today. So let's keep going!_

* * *

_**Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII**_

* * *

**Humanity**

* * *

**IX. Despair**

_"If we can laugh together just one more time... Well... then I have nothing left to wish for."_

* * *

Hope snapped open his eyes sitting up in his bed, shaking and his heart beating wildly. His silver bangs were soaked with sweat, in the same fashion of his clothing and sheets.

He took a moment to remember where he was. At home, in Valhalla's ruins.

The young man closed his eyes, trying to calm down. _"It was just a dream."_ To add fuel to his confusion, he wasn't sure if that was good or not.

_"Light…"_, Hope felt a twinge of pain in his chest. He shyly brought his fingers to his lips, almost feeling the mark of Lightning's against his. _"It felt so real…"_

Although he know it had been nothing more than a dream, he couldn't help wondering how real it actually was. He could remember each one of the feeling he experienced with crystal clarity.

It wasn't the first dream he had in which Lightning appeared, of course. But it was the first one that seemed so real, and also the first one in which he came to kiss her. Generally, Hope was so shy that, despite having fantasized about it many times, he wasn't really able to imagine himself in that kind of situation.

To try not to think about it, he wondered why he had again one of those dreams, because during his journey they had almost stopped. But when he was at home, he hardly ever had a night without dreaming about Lightning.

He recalled Sazh's warnings about living so close to the Great Infusion's source. Could it have something to do with the Chaos in the air? Was it what made him have those dreams, to come face to face to his own feelings?

It made sense, Hope thought, sitting on the bed, hugging his legs and staring blankly at the wall. He had thoroughly studied all myths about Goddess Etro since he learned that Lightning was serving her. One of them told that the human soul was nothing but the Chaos that the Goddess of Death bestowed upon the beings who were born of her shed blood. In other words, human emotions were the Chaos of the Goddess.

The closer he was to the source of Chaos, the more it will affect him.

But something didn't quite add up. Hope had seen how Chaos affected his old friends, specially those burdened with a strong guilt, like Snow and Noel. Why him, who had the same guilt complex as them, hadn't changed in the same way? Why he was only haunted by Chaos in his dreams, not in his own behavior?

Unanswered questions swirled in his head, one after another. Hope buried his face between his knees, breathing deeply. To make things worse, in addition to all those mysteries, he still had engraved in his mind that dream so delightfully cruel.

The young man took a deep breath in resignation and got up from the bed. Since the very moment he recalled again that meeting in dreams with Lightning, even if she didn't answer –as she did in reality– he knew he would end up going to the Goddess' throne room. He always did so whenever he felt lost, perhaps because the simple image of his beloved mentor was able to ease the tides of confusion that sometimes flooded him.

Climbing to the top of Etro's Shrine was a long road, but it was surprisingly safe despite having been the origin of the Great Infusion. There wasn't any Chaos or danger, everything was silent and calm. For Hope, visiting the temple on a regular basis was a necessity, not only because of Lightning, but of the peace he could breathe therein. Sometimes, he just had to sit on the front steps of the shrine for a while to relax after working for days without having a single break.

His scientist mind hadn't overlooked that. He wondered why, precisely there, there were no monsters nor paradoxes caused by Chaos. One of his theories was that Lightning's life force, crystallized in Etro's throne, was what drove away all evil, since the Goddess had been the one who kept Chaos under control.

Hope smiled to himself while crossing the temple's gate. Yes, Lightning still fought to protect her surroundings, even when she was asleep. Her presence was what allowed the young scientist to peacefully live close to her. Perhaps it was also the reason why people in the Wildlands kept having faith in Goddess Etro… Though Lightning couldn't hold back the Chaos beyond the shrine, she still was a light of hope for those who believed in a brighter future.

_"A light of hope…"_, Hope narrowed his eyes as he slowly went up the stairs toward the summit of Etro's Shrine. The Wildlands were inhabited by those who believed in Etro, but he didn't consider himself as one of them. The gods hadn't done much for him, other than making his life quite miserable.

The only goddess who deserved his devotion slept on top of that temple.

When he finally reached the Chamber of the Throne, Hope took a moment to catch his breath. Not only because the effort the ascent was for someone like him, who had a lot more brains than muscles, but because he knew the image his eyes would see probably would take the little breath he had left.

He went closer respectfully, as always, to the center of the stony room, where a bottomless pit was opened by a platform suspended over the void. He knew very well that disposition: it was the same as that of the main hub of the Academy headquarters, centuries ago. The Great Infusion turned the symbol of the Academy into Etro's Shrine, and the grand city of Academia into the ruinous, desolate Valhalla.

Hope had wondered many times if it was a matter or fate. That everything he built became exactly what he had been pursuing through his deeds.

He came to the edge of the platform, stopped for a moment and, as he did every time he went up there, dropped to one knee on the ground as a sign of respect to the beautifully carved alabaster throne in a stunning crystal formation of a particularly deep blue that floated over the pit.

But that wasn't what Hope thought it was the most beautiful thing of that place. No, his green eyes were fixed on the crystal statue sitting on the throne, a sword in her lap, impassive and oblivious to her surroundings.

It was the real Lightning Farron, deep asleep, perhaps for all eternity.

In a sense, it was a relief for Hope to see her there, after his dream. For a moment he had feared something had happened to her and somehow he saw it. But nothing had changed in that room since the last time he was there, a year and a half ago. The night before he left.

Nothing had changed. Nothing _ever_ changed.

Whenever he visited Lightning, Hope used to vent the pain he felt at watching her like that by telling her about her results of his research, talking about Nova Chrysalia and even prattling about the weather. He knew she wasn't listening, and maybe he was so cruel to himself talking even knowing it was useless. But he didn't want to break down in front of her, even if she was asleep. He wanted to stay strong, to somehow convey his feeling that everything would be fine, that he would be there for her no matter what.

Perhaps it was because of his dream, for suddenly being aware that all his efforts had been in vain, for having faced the harsh truth that no human could ever fight against the will of the gods.

Whatever it was, Hope couldn't keep pretending anymore.

If the tears his eyes shed that night over Lightning's fate had been just a dream, in that moment they were real, so painfully real. Hope bowed his head, his shoulders hunched, his thin body trembling while his wounded heart, shattered when he went into the temple the first time and found her there, finally broke into a thousand pieces.

_"If I don't have the power to save you"_, the young man thought, tears rolling one after another down his cheeks and moistening the cold stony floor, _"only the gods have it."_

For the first time in his life, Hope Estheim, Director of the Academy, scientist and former l'Cie who once defeated the fal'Cie that ruled the old Cocoon as gods with the help of his friends and had spent his entire career in creating a world in which humanity could decide its own destiny, closed his eyes, knelt on the floor and prayed with all his heart and soul for Lightning's salvation to any god who would listen to him.

He couldn't tell how long he stayed there, silently pleading to the gods, something that once was completely against his principles. But those days were long past, the golden age of the Academy had come to an end and science was defeated by the power of the divine.

Perhaps that was the fair punishment that awaited the one who tried to oppose fate.

He was willing to accept it, anyway. If he had to swallow his pride and pray to the gods, he would do so. If that could save Lightning, he wouldn't hesitate for a moment.

But the gods never answered him. Why should they? Hope may not have been their enemy, but he had been their detractor.

_"What god would deign to hear the prayers of a mere human?"_

At least, he thought so.

Suddenly, a bright light shone in Hope's eyes, an alien sensation came over him, cutting off the flow of tears and stunning him as if a snake had bitten him. The lump in his throat caused by his sorrow was gone, but for some reason he couldn't breathe. His body wasn't trembling anymore, but all of his skin was bristling, in the same way as if electric shocks went through his whole being.

It was only for a second, but in one moment, Hope felt as if something incredibly powerful, extremely superior, something _supernatural_, had settled its gaze on him.

And then everything went dark.

A second later, Etro's Shrine was completely silent again.

Hope Estheim had vanished.

* * *

_"When despair comes, humanity prays for anything to believe in." _


	10. Faith

_**A/N:**__ This is the second-to-last part! And the last one will be really easy to translate, so you'll have it very soon here! Well, since gods never spoke in the game, I don't know how would they talk, but since they don't have emotions and stuff, I tried to make it sound distant and all that. I took a bit of reference from Barthandelus' speech, but damn, that's so hard to mimic... _

_Anyway! There you go, my dear readers!_

* * *

_**Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII**_

* * *

**Humanity**

* * *

**X. Faith**

_"My path was set: I would remain in Valhalla, and carry out the will of the goddess."_

* * *

Once more, when Hope opened his eyes, he found himself surrounded by darkness.

But it was different from his dream. Bright mist veils were around him like haze, shining enough for him to see where he was. A strange, gentle breeze ruffled his silver hair and made flutter the edges of his clothes.

There was peace in that place, but there was something eerie in that silence, in the very sound of the wind. Hope vaguely remembered having been in a similar place…

Of course, he said to himself, wondering why it took that long to him to remember. The moment he was branded as a l'Cie, centuries ago. The moment in which he and his friends transcended humanity when they were touched –and cursed– by the divine.

A small gasp escaped Hope's lips when he studied the darkness around him. If this place was so similar, did that mean that–?

_Fear not, young mortal. You are not in danger._

The voice echoed, thunderous, in both Hope's mind and heart, making him to step back. It had been too magnanimous, as if every particle of his being reacted with respect to each syllable.

"Who… who are you?", the young man could utter, still impressed by the echo the words left inside him.

_I am called Bhunivelze, God of Light._ As the voice spoke again, something went down the skies of that darkness, pushing through it like a beacon. It was an extremely bright white light, so much that Hope had to cover his eyes to not being dazzled. Its simple sight overcame the young scientist with a feeling he was unable to identify, but it spread in waves throughout his body. _I am the Maker who created the three beings that shaped the world in which your race lives, and it is now on the brink of destruction. I have heard your prayers, young human, and I have felt your desire to save what life that remains unscathed. This is why I summoned you here._

Hope hardly could believe what he was hearing. Bhunivelze, the God? The Maker himself, after whom he named the New Cocoon, his _magnus opus_? Did really the God of Light answered his desperate prayers? Was this real or was he dreaming again?

_I understand your confusion, young mortal. I have not summoned any other human before, for the fate of all existence is my ought to attend._

"If that's so…", Hope swallowed; he was unsure about how he should address a god and if he would get angry if he messed up. "Maker, may I ask you why did you answer my plea?"

Bhunivelze –if that light was really him– gave off a brief glow more intense than normal, forcing Hope to squint.

_Humans render homage unto me and request me to create a new world. But they only wait for my mercy and do nothing about it. _The breeze got stronger for a moment. _You intrigue me, young mortal. You are different._

It was a bit difficult to understand Bhunivelze's way of expressing himself, but Hope understood that God meant to say with the last part of his answer: many people prayed, but it had been _his_ prayers he had answered because he was different from others somehow.

He took a little while to assimilate the meaning behind it. The God of Light thought he, Hope, was _special_. Different, from a deity's point of view, to all humans in the world. His head hurt at the thought.

_Humans are interesting._ Bhunivelze continued. _The power my daughter bestowed upon you is great. In you it is stronger than in other humans._

"What power are you talking about, Maker?", Hope looked down at his hands in defeat. "I'm anything special anymore. I ceased to be a l'Cie long time ago."

_Humans call it 'emotion'. It shapes what you know as 'spirit'. We gods do not grasp this power. It is a force as magnificent as hazardous that not even the servants of fal'Cie can face it._

That made sense. One of the ancient texts Hope read when deciphering it was a lecture from the young seeress called Paddra-Nsu Yeul, and she described the soul as a gift from Goddess Etro, and the human spirit was the Chaos she gave the hearts of her children.

But Hope had been the least affected by Chaos, compared with the rest of his friends, or the people of Nova Chrysalia. If the Chaos that was his spirit was so powerful, how was it possible?

As if he had read his mind –something he'd probably done–, Bhunivelze explained it.

_You experienced the darkness of Chaos and you submitted it under your will. Your power lies in that control. You possess the ability to do things that other humans can not, and things that only the gods can do._

Hope narrowed his eyes. He thought he knew what God meant with 'experiencing the darkness of Chaos and submitting it under his will'. He remembered when he was fourteen, that promise to take an innocent life, blinded by anger and revenge-thirst, and having renounced to obey the primary desire of his spirit. If indeed this had been so decisive, then he had to add one more thing to the long list of stuff he owed to Lightning.

But doing things that only gods could do… Wasn't that exaggerating too much?

"I'm no god, Maker. I'm merely human."

_A human who gave life to a fal'Cie. A human who traveled in time without entering the Historia Crux. A human who created a floating continent. Only my children have ever done so._

Said by Bhunivelze, it sounded much more amazing than Hope had ever thought it was. He had considered that just his work, no more and no less. But now God highlighted it and the young scientist had to admit, not without genuine wonder, the miracles he had wrought.

_I heard your prayers._ Although Bhunivelze's voice was monotonous, he seemed to express himself by various signals, and Hope thought the sudden strong breeze that hit him meant that the god wanted to get down to business. _You want the warrior who served my fallen daughter to wake up from her eternal slumber._

"Yes", Hope muttered, feeling a bit awkward. For a god unable to feel emotions, his prayer must've sounded childlike and humble. "Not just because of me, Maker… She's a powerful warrior blessed by the Goddess. I know the stories people tell about the Savior who according to the legend you will choose to save us all. She–"

_I have considered the warrior as the Savior._ Judging by his sudden brightness, Hope thought he had just told Bhunivelze something he already knew. _Her crystal slumber is voluntary. Her emotions chain her to her prison at her own will._

The young scientist's eyes opened wide. He wasn't expecting that at all. _"You decided to enter crystal stasis at your own will? Was your grief for Serah what has you trapped in your sleep?"_, Hope closed his eyes, feeling his heart sinking. _"Oh, Light. If I had only known…"_

"Her sister…", he murmured, sorrowful. "She was her only family. She died before Chaos flooded the world. That's why she crystallized herself."

Bhunivelze shone brightly, with authority. Hope had to make huge efforts to keep his balance at such a display of power.

_I shall create a new world where humans can live in peace._ The statement of God was strong. _This requires all my power. I can not create humans. I can not save human souls in the meantime. Such is the task of the Savior._

Hope said nothing. He began to understand the purpose of that figure of legend, and why it was considered a harbinger of death by some people. 'Saving human souls' certainly sounded ominous depending on how you interpreted it.

_You would make a good Savior._ The young man almost lost completely his balance this time, but he managed to save his dignity and gave Bhunivelze an incredulous glare. _But your power comes from your mind. The Savior needs strength. You may help my chosen one. I propose you a deal therefore, young human._

A deal? Hope couldn't help but shiver at the offer of a deal coming from a god. But Bhunivelze had mentioned he was interested in having Lightning as his Savior… If he had to deal with God to that end, so be it.

_I want her to serve me. You want her to wake up. She wants her sister to wake up._ Bhunivelze shone again. _I can save a human soul to such a covenant if I require so. But not without an offering, for I shall need all my power to create a new world._

The breeze had become a stronger wind. If he wasn't very mistaken, Hope thought he knew what the god meant. And what kind of deal he was going to propose him as well.

_You can be my servant to help the Savior in the task of saving humanity. Your powers shall be of great use for both the Savior and me._ Hope looked up in disbelief. Servant of Bhunivelze? Him? _But being my servant involves personal sacrifice, young mortal. Those who shall serve me must relinquish their humanity to save humanity. Such has to be their commitment._

The words of God echoed strongly in Hope's mind, leaving him absolutely speechless. _"Give up my humanity."_ What that implied was rather vague, and being aware of how cryptic gods were, Bhunivelze wasn't likely going to give him more details. Besides, if it really was a sacrifice to show how true was his determination to save his kind…

For Hope, humanity was most important, the ideal he had fiercely defended as Director of the Academy. He had to make now an extremely important choice: his humanity, or humanity? Could this be his last act of service to his race as a leader?

His heart, or his duty?

"If I agree to be your servant", Hope said after a long silence, "will you awake the warrior Lightning from her trance?"

_That depends on you, young human._ The wind had gradually intensified, the shining mist increasingly becoming denser._ What are you willing to offer in exchange for her?_

The question caught Hope by surprise, but he had the single answer to that. An answer he wouldn't hesitate to give, a choice in which there was no room to any doubt.

The young man looked up to Bhunivelze with determination, his green eyes fixed on God, steady despite the divine radiance.

"My own life, Maker."

There was a pause that seemed eternal.

And then the wind turned gale, the darkness denser and the light brighter. Hope's senses began to fail, he felt his consciousness fading, buffeted mercilessly by that supernatural wind.

_So be it, young Hope Estheim. May your wisdom guide the steps of the Savior and protect her from anyone who desires her doom._

Bhunivelze's light intensified until he was completely dazzled, knocking him to his knees when a surge of energy flooded his body with the might of a thousand tides. Unable to take it anymore, the young man collapsed unconscious, one last thought in his mind at the very moment he lost consciousness.

_"My heart for my duty. My duty for my heart."_

* * *

_"Faith in the gods is caused by the wish of humanity of doing what they do."_


	11. Divinity

_**A/N:**__ And this is it! This is the last part of this story! Oh god, I didn't think I would be able to finish the whole translation today! But anyway, I wanted you to have it whole as soon as possible. _

_So, well, now that this is over, you may now comment and review if you want! I don't mind if you make a review of each part, or of the whole story. That's on you! I'll welcome every critique and comment, so don't hesitate to tell me what you think!_

_Been a pleasure to write this thing! Hope you liked it, my dear readers!_

* * *

_**Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII**_

* * *

**Humanity**

* * *

_**Epilogue**_

**Divinity**

_"Even so, [our spirit] is something far too precious to lose. It is what allows me to hold hope for the future."_

* * *

Silence.

White.

_"Everything is silent. Everything is blank."_

Those were his first sensations.

Aqua-green eyes slowly opening, getting used to the light. Silver hair fluttering gently in the most gentle of breezes. The feel of the cold floor beneath him.

He moved slowly, feeling his muscles numb. He stood carefully until bowing a leg, the other knee on the floor, one hand on his forehead because of his headache.

A hand much smaller than he remembered, covered by a blue and white glove.

He observed himself. Yellow jacket with an orange poncho. Black sleeveless shirt. Greenish pants. White boots.

His physical appearance had reverted to his teenage form. When it all began. When his story was yet to be written. A book with blank pages.

_"White. Empty."_

He felt no surprise. He felt no fear.

He had lost all emotion.

Curiosity. It was what he felt.

_"I wonder why this happened."_

His heart was blank. His memories as well.

He didn't remember how he got there. He felt nothing about it.

He got up. He walked slowly toward the center. He watched the place in where he was.

_"White."_

Only the sound of his footsteps could be heard there.

_"Silent."_

A huge computer and a black armchair. Several floating couches. Twisting shelves with books and various artifacts. A floating oval structure with thirteen spikes. A giant tree with intense orange blossoms.

He vaguely remembered some of those things. Others were wholly unknown to him.

He looked up. He saw a strange gray sky with completely still clouds. Much of the sky was covered by an enormous metal, artificial structure. A halo was partially visible from where he was.

_"The Ark."_

He frowned. He started to remember more clearly. He built that place long ago. Inside the New Cocoon.

Some things were different. But he recognized that place overall.

Unexplainably, he also knew what he remembered it shouldn't be there. Like the tree, for example.

_"The Tree of Life. Yggdrasil."_

He closed his eyes. Although it wasn't exactly an emotion, he could feel something inside him he didn't remember he ever felt before. A power far stronger than the one he was given when he was branded as a l'Cie.

_"Eradia. The holy energy of light."_

He extended a hand. A bright light appeared in his palm, in the form of a sphere. It floated a few seconds before soaring rapidly to the tree, which lit up intensely when that light merged with its trunk. A small orange flower sprang from one of the stems, its gigantic fan-shaped leaves gently stirring.

_"Eradia makes the tree grow stronger. It breathes hope into the world."_

He tilted his head thoughtfully. The more he remembered and discovered how much he knew, the more his curiosity got stronger.

He brought his hand unconsciously to the scarf he wore around his neck. He felt mild surprise when he found out that it was different to the one he had worn at the same age of his teenager body. Black and white, checkered and spotted.

Order and stability. In a world consumed by Chaos and destruction.

That was his role. He didn't remember how or why, but he knew.

"I am Hope Estheim", he muttered to himself, his green eyes lost in the horizon. "Servant of God. Guardian of the Tree of Life. Guider of the Savior."

Hearing his own voice in the silence, the same voice of his former self, awoke something else inside him. Relief, perhaps. Or maybe satisfaction. He wasn't sure, and neither was worried to know.

Should he worry about having lost the ability to feel emotions? For now, he couldn't even worry.

He lost his humanity. He was now a servant of God.

As the Savior was.

_"The Savior…"_

The word echoed strangely inside him. It awakened something in his heart… Maybe nostalgia? Sorrow? Longing?

Without realizing it, he stroked the yellow wristband covering his left wrist. It was the place where once had been his l'Cie brand, the other time he ceased to be human.

But he hadn't been alone. He never was.

When he remembered, he felt happiness filling his until then empty heart. A sincere smile spread across his face, hitherto blank as a marble statue.

He remembered all his friends. He remembered the woman who had taken in her hands that wristband and held it extremely close to her heart when he felt lost. He built this Ark for them, for her.

He didn't know how or why he had reverted to his teenage form. Nor why he had lost his emotions, or most of them, or why he found so hard to remember many events of his life.

But he didn't care. At that moment, he had only one thing in mind.

"I am the Guider of the Savior", he said, this time aloud, looking up with a hint of fierce determination in his eyes. "I will watch over this world until Lightning Farron wakes up. Together, we will protect humanity."

With a greatly hopeful smile, Hope Estheim, the youth with a child's body and an adult's soul, put his left hand over his heart, the right one closed around his wristband as if it was his most precious treasure, his only link left with his lost humanity.

_"I'll be waiting for you to return, Light."_

* * *

_"Divinity is a status that humans will achieve by embracing their own humanity."_


End file.
